Theresa & Joe Wilbanks

Keep that thumb pointed Up

Wed, 9 Jun 2010 14:30:21 +0200

We almost missed the last bus back to Liberec after hiking in the Jizera Mountains. Hitchhiking is common here but care must be taken... a thumb pointed down indicates that you are offering a service rather than in need of one. Fortunately, we made the bus.

This sign is what made us late... We stayed for too long before we realized it was pointless.

And then when we found the answer to the ultimate question... we had to see if the question was nearby.

LIberec is on the border of Germany and Poland and several languages are spoken here, but English is not one of them. German is not much appreciated due to the Germans who visit and don’t bother to learn Czech. Conversations generally all started like this...
‘Dobry den’, ‘Dobry den’, ‘English?’, ‘No, Deutsch?’, ‘A little... French?’, ‘No, Russian?’, ‘No, English?’, ‘A little’. Communicating without a common language is a familiar game that we played in China and Korea. Winning requires only that you stay calm. The real competition came and was lost in Babylon, http://www.centrumbabylon.cz/en/babylon/. This is not our kind of hotel. We prefer to play outside. Its one redeeming quality was that it had a huge outdoor terrace with a great view, according to the website.

After two days of being misunderstood and misdirected (it is a big place), I found it myself but the door was locked.

Then we played, I’ll show you my terrace if you show me yours which took us on a three hour tour.

When he realized that I had found ‘the terrace’ he said, ‘Oh, that terrace, blah, blah, blah verboten...’

We accept that when we travel what is written is relative and verbal communication is a sport, but this just pissed me off. I said, ‘This is not ok, blah, blah, blah...’, knowing that he didn’t understand a word and he replied, ‘You’re welcome.’ I need to work on my angry tone.

In retrospect, we should have expected confusion in a place called Babylon, especially after dinner our first night... in the Czech Republic, at Hotel Babylon, eating an Asian meal in a French restaurant while listening to Jimi Hendrix and looking at ancient Egypt decor.

It is possible to go up in the tower of the Town Hall, but at the information desk the attendant without saying a word, handed me her phone. The person on the other end said that I needed to go to the office of tourism and from there I could be announced and would be able to go up into the tower. At the office of tourism I was told it is not possible to go up except on this day and that and at this hour or that and none of those include today.

Two for two, expectations were low and when I came across this place I decided I was going inside even if I had to sneak in. Fortunately, it was a museum. After buying my ticket a woman inside wanted to play the language game. I indicated all was ok and I would just be on my way to look around. She grabbed my arm and pulled me around in circles while she pointed in this direction and that using charades to explain what exhibits were where. She reminded me of the restroom attendant in Shanghai who didn’t speak English, so after paying she grabbed me and threw me into a stall.

We met Gladys and Duchon on the trail from Jested. She is American and has lived in Liberec for 15 years. Duchon is Czech and has lived in France and the US.

They talked us into extending our hike and going with them to a family owned pub, U Samalu, that had been preserved for hundreds of years. It is always great to see and learn about a place from locals. It is also always enlightening to hear from a foreigner about their experience in the US. We are often shocked and somewhat ashamed about what we hear and are always grateful that people are so welcoming to us.

Next, Joe’s bunker trauma - locked in for an hour. They had already drawn straws to determine who would get eaten first...

Click here for more photos

What really goes on in the funhouse

Sat, 29 May 2010 15:37:52 +0200

We came back early from Ardeche to go to the Asparagus Festival in Tigy. There was an asparagus shortage and it was all gone in the first 15 minutes of the first day. Quelle crise! Fortunately, there was no shortage of crazy entertainment and amusement for all ages...

Like the funhouse, for the whole family, de 4 à`84 ans, from 4 to 84 years...

We should have gone in to see what really goes on in a French funhouse... maybe next time, but I suspect what goes on in the funhouse will stay in the funhouse.

We expected to see the Condom Mobil that was at the Stuttgart Festival but were disappointed when it wasn’t there.

There was lots of old stuff to buy

...really old stuff,

but this was our favorite... the Hot Dogger - De vrais hot-dogs, juste comme il faut.

The US was well represented...

And finally, the Asparagus Legos Competition... it was the reason we came but there was no Asparagus Eiffel Tower and so we felt cheated. There is always next year...

Les Trois Vallees

Sun, 21 Mar 2010 12:20:04 +0100

During last year’s boarder wars we came across several rude and prejudiced skiers. Now on skis it is clear that snowboarders can be equally obnoxious. Who knew? Battles on the slopes are insignificant. The real war is at the télécabine midway point...

At the midway point, the télécabines are fairly full from skiers getting on at the bottom. Several of these bottom dwellers had blatant strategies to keep us out - avoid eye contact, spread out or the more creative - stand and lean over so that the entrance is completely blocked by an ass. Then there were those who invited us in to sit on their laps. It was all worth the trouble. The Franglais conversations on the way up were priceless.

We met Allison and Paul from England, kindred spirits...
We have done the same stuff - scuba, sailing, climbing, windsurfing, snowboarding, etc. but they have done these in the coolest places and much more often. Paul had one of the first snowboards in Europe - 20 years ago - and taught himself to snowboard. Allison has been snowboarding for 12 years! Their RV is in the background. Paul claimed that he was taking that bottle of wine to the recycle bin...

Each year the fun on the slopes outweighs the pain on the autoroutes but it is time to share the ugly side of the French highway system. The road conditions are excellent due to the tolls. The tolls are tolerable, especially since we got our super cool pass that gets us into the speedy lane. Getting fuel however, is an absolute goat rodeo. Always, there is only one pay at the pump, pump. The remaining pumps filter to one drive up cashier and you can not start pumping until the person who was in front of you has paid. So you sit and wait and then pump and then jockey into line to pay. Sometimes there is a walk up cashier and 10 people waiting in line to pay, all with same strategy: When there is a two person team one person pumps fuel and the other gets in line. In theory, a good strategy but it breaks down when the next 5 teams in line have failed to complete pumping. This should result in immediate ‘back of the line’ status. Also, if strategy is required to pump and pay for gas than somebody should be fired. How much can pay at the pump pumps cost?

There was a friendly French family to our right and a grumpy German couple to our left; seriously grumpy and they will be the topic of another entry...

Quotes of the week at home: A butcher in Jargeau, ‘You Americans eat only chicken right? Fried chicken?’ and then the guy from whom I learned that bisous are not innocent, ‘Hi! I’m still single.’ Me, ‘I’m still married.” Him, ‘Never mind.”

Original entry - http://www.lifebitesphotos.com/An_Adventure_Abroad/Blog/Entries/2009/2/12_Fun_and_Games.html

Par hasard, Joe met him for the first time Saturday. They are not going to be BFF’s.

La Police Municiple

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 18:35:07 +0100

Châteauneuf’s finest set up a checkpoint at the end of the Grande Rue and trapped Dedene and I in their web... Barney and the tall one approached and the tall one asked for my registration and driver’s license. When he opened the license he started laughing. I asked him what was funny and he said, ‘I know you’. Of course he does. We are the closest thing they have to criminals in Châteauneuf. I had not signed my drivers license and Barney lent me his pen, then asked for it back like I was going to steal it. He had an ‘I know who you are and what you are capable of’ smirk. It flashed through my mind that his smirk may have been because he saw me dripping wet and practically naked not so long ago (http://www.lifebitesphotos.com/An_Adventure_Abroad/Blog/Entries/2009/8/14_Round_Two.html), but then he said, ‘Your car moves often now’. I replied, ‘Yes, she moves a lot’ (cars are girls here). The tall one handed me my ‘papers’ and said in English, ‘It is good’. They really are sweet and harmless and it is nice to be known for something in Châteauneuf....

Will you come with me

Wed, 3 Mar 2010 15:30:32 +0100

Two years ago we went to Frankfurt and I learned ‘wollen Sie mit mir kommen’, ‘will you come with me’. At the time, Joe said that I was going to get myself in trouble and suggested that I learn something different. A few months later, while in China, we were invited to a dinner with several of Joe’s colleagues and a customer, Niklas, from Germany. I sat next to Niklas and shared with him that I was trying to learn German and then impressed him with my one sentence. When we were leaving I told Joe that Niklas and I didn’t talk much but I did tell him about my attempt to learn German. Joe informed me that he didn’t speak English. So, what he heard was, ‘blah, blah, blah will you come with me. There is a lesson in here somewhere but rather than learn it...

a year later the only other phrase I can say well is, ‘Wollen Sie mit mir heute Abend hier blieben’. This is all Michel Thomas’ fault and he is no doubt laughing from his grave.

The French Alps

Fri, 5 Feb 2010 16:47:06 +0100

Imagine Joe bombing down the slopes, rocking out to White Stripes

and next he hears this...

I apparently had some technical difficulty while creating his playlist and mixed in some of my ESL preschool songs...

Joe experienced additional technical difficulty when he and the ski techs could not agree on the exact definition of a 90 degree angle. His precise engineer tendencies were in full alignment with his boarder tech skills and the shop guys should have conceded long before they did.

Joe did learn something... a lesson in flask placement: The hands free lift card is super unless you put your flask in the same pocket blocking the card reader from reading the card. The lift attendant was amused.

I skied 15 years ago and only for a season but I was more competent on skis after 5 days than I am after 5 years on a snowboard. I had some great snowboard instructors. The best was a girl who had three useful tips: First, listen to music while you ride. Second, have a shot before each run (I think she may have said before your first run but we hear what we want to hear) and third, make love in the mountains. (Actually, I am pretty sure she said ‘make love to the mountain’ but...) I find skiing to be more like trying to keep your imaginary virginity intact.

We LOVE our van...

We added insulation to the upper sleeping space and now we can sleep up top through the winter. We have a new, fancier porta pottie; lighter weight and more streamlined... perfect for the gearhead who has everything. And, after three years of trial and error we have finally arrived at the perfect camping van winter meals. We have collected jars of meat and vegetable mixtures that we bought in specialty shops and at local markets all over France because they had cool names like Chambord Sauté de Sanglier or Bœuf Normande. In the end it is stew, wild boar stew, beef stew, deer stew, etc. even jarred choucroute, sauerkraut and sausage from Alsace - perfect!

American football at night in the bar at the campground (the playoff games streamed to the MacBook) made it the perfect vacation!

US Trip 2009

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 16:28:54 +0100

We want to integrate ‘fully’ but if it means not bringing back a suitcase (or two) full of stuff from the US then we can accept failure.

There were a few things that we wanted to bring back with us but couldn’t: Okra, Mexican food, Margaritas, Joe’s grandmother’s biscuits, Joe’s grandmother...

Reverse culture shock set in when we couldn’t recycle our cardboard. After a few unsuccessful phone calls we wasted too much gas looking for a recycle bin and in the end, in defeat, tossed it into a dumpster. I said to Dad, ‘What kind of country do you live in?‘ He replied, ‘At least we don’t pee in public.’ He had us there. It was a quick reply, out of character actually, but at 88 he is becoming quite unruly!

The highlight of the holiday was seeing Laura. Laura and I were inseparable in our early high school years and suffered (the right word) a life changing experience that altered our friendship. We reconnected through Facebook and were able to see each other in Orlando for the first time in 20+ years. I can not put into words what it meant to see and spend time with her and saying goodbye was like having Christmas taken away...

After returning to France, one of my adult English students was overly apologetic about not completing her homework over the holiday. She offered many excuses and I was very forgiving, too forgiving. My stern, reproachful look needs work. She probably practiced her excuses over and over in English hoping to impress with her progress. That’s what I used to do and it’s homework enough. What I was thinking was, ‘No really, It’s ok. I just started learning English myself over the past two weeks and I will be a much better teacher now.’ It is true and I discovered it is actually a quite complicated language which was why explaining the difference between the present perfect and present perfect progressive seemed simple until the questions started and then the argument breaks down completely and then tears. (It is the student who should be crying not the teacher.)

While in the US, we didn’t get to see our friends and family (who are also friends) in Nashville or see my ex most-favorite boss ever and I didn’t get my Martini extra dry with three olives, so we will be back in July.

Some of what we brought back:
- bike saddles (It is obvious why there are few serious women cyclists here and it is clearly a conspiracy)
- a new MacBook Air!
- enough electronics to open a shop (France prices for electronics are 30-50% higher than US prices - French folk protest a .02 cent rise in baguette prices???
- wipes (no explanation needed)
- Starbucks instant coffee - for the camping van
- the H1N1 vaccination (our favorite)
- Joe’s new nickname - Joé, pronounced much like his childhood name Joey but with a sexy French accent. I mistakenly bought the tickets under Joe rather than Joseph... Getting it sorted was an ordeal.

Lost in the Loiret

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 11:35:14 +0100

We rode 113 km with 12 guys from Joe’s work for an annual national telethon and learned at km 103 that our efforts did not raise any money but would increase ‘spirit’; whose we are not sure. Seven guys were no shows, all coincidentally ill. Then later we learned that turnout is entirely dependent upon weather. These are the rules we need to know.

It was intimidating that no women signed up but then we discovered that two of the guys had bought their bikes that week. At 90km when one of the riders said, ‘So, it’s not your first day on a bike’ he may have been referring to my less than shiny bike.

The three people in the sweep car were the real navigators and the sole person in the lead car was... alone! Reading a map while navigating French roads is a bad plan. She told us before she started that we were going to get lost and we did, three times. The planned 110k almost turned into 150k but the last mishap worked in our favor and helped us make up most of the extra 20k we had accumulated.

It also put us in Briare.

Next year we will lend radios to the lead and sweep cars.

I went back to Briare Thursday, a prettier day, to check out the town because it looked interesting, full of canals and big boats

Lunch was provided at 80k. We and half the group had prepared our own because that is what the last memo said to do. We are never sure if the chronic miscommunication is due to our misinterpretation of the language or some rule that everything must always remain unclear so that it may be changed without justifying une grève.

Dominique

Joe

Sebastien

Yin-yang chats

Wed, 2 Dec 2009 16:27:12 +0100

We said no more cats. Then, Chloe brought a fluffy white kitten to the house and asked me to name him something in English that started with E. So, I did. Apparently that made him ours. Chloe’s mom said, ‘He is yours. You figure out how to work it out with Joe.’ So, I did. They kept Euro for two weeks while we were off playing in Dordogne and we were to get him when we returned.

Our last full day in Dordogne we went to Lascaux II via Lascaux, a two hour detour. That afternoon we returned to our free municipal parking lot camping spot.

As soon as we got out of the van an itty bitty black kitty came down from a tree and walked up to Joe, smart girl.

She and Joe played for hours while he kept sending me off to find her owner.

Abandoning cats is a national past time here and the sport ramps up during vacation periods. Obviously, we had to keep her, she was itty bitty, all black and fearless. She slept in the camping car with us and we named her Lascaux II, Lascaux for short.

Their initial meeting did not go well. She climbed him like a tree and he sh*t on her new toy (seriously, he did, en plein milieu).

It took weeks to establish who was boss and in the end he won until... the operation. Euro and Joe did not hit it off either because Euro preferred the carpet, tile, Lascaux’s toy and the bed to his box.

So, we rolled up the carpets and Lascaux had a tree to climb

After weeks of kitty litter therapy, Euro was cured and could stay. He had developed other bad habits in his short life but kitty bootcamp cured him.

They are both 5 months old now. Lascaux is the hunter and tree climber. Euro is the prima donna. He purrs when he is held. She purrs when she is playing. They get along well...

especially when playing with scissors.

Things not to do with two new kittens in the house:
1. Take up knitting
2. Start teaching English to children; turn your dining room into a kindergarden classroom
3. Accept your friends 6 beautiful, healthy plants just because she is moving to China

Farewell to our butcher

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 21:29:47 +0100

The first visit was like having a tooth pulled - with a string and a door by your kid brother. The next three were worse. Monsieur Boucher frightened me and after the first time I didn’t go back for 6 months and only then because the other butcher was closed. Joe’s first experience went like this: ‘Pintade, is that like chicken or turkey?’ M. Boucher responded, ‘No, It’s like a pintade.’ People told me he had a ‘special character’. I said he was a grumpy, condescending, mean old man but then discovered the key: rather than step back and take his offhanded, unsolicited advice, it was better to push back. We bonded on the fourth visit. I really did need advice this time and he had plenty. We also talked about the past and future of butchers in Châteauneuf, a dying breed.

The real turning point in our relationship was when the other butcher lied and said the meat I was buying was not suited for my recipe. It was a French recipe. He sheepishly admitted that he didn’t have the amount I needed. From that time I became completely faithful to M. Boucher. He and Joe bonded over grill talk (read that carefully) and we all were very happy until... four weeks ago when he shared that he was retiring, soon. He described his 45 year, 7 day a week schedule that left him little time for rest.

Yesterday, when I asked for turkey, he told me that he didn’t have any but he had chicken and in his opinion chicken is better than turkey. He added that he knew I liked turkey. I couldn’t resist this last opportunity to spar a bit and asked, ‘better taste or better for health?’ He said, ‘taste of course,’ and muttered something about health as he walked into the freezer. He is old school French and taste trumps any other consideration - there really are no other considerations.

Today was his last day. Joe and I went to wish him well and to take him a bottle of Jim Beam Spicy Bourbon Barbecue Sauce.

We will miss him but will always have the...

scroll down at your own risk

...memories.