Theresa & Joe Wilbanks

Who’s idea was this...

Mon, 15 Nov 2010 18:56:31 +0100

A woman arriving from Texas was questioned by an immigration officer about why she was in Stockholm in November and when she said she was there for vacation he laughed. The problem wasn’t the cold, wet weather or the fact that it gets dark at 3:30pm. The problem was the limited opening days and hours of the must see places, such as Saturday and Sunday from 12 to 3:30pm. We managed, nonetheless, to have fun.

This is our third trip with this group. On the first, we were toddlers, content to be carried along. On the second, we were 10 and a half years old and able to hold our own in limited conversation with adults but we still did as we were told. Now we are teenagers and vying for control. Herding ten people in a foreign country is not easy, but when 8 of them are French it is just a grève waiting to happen. We made an attempt, but the one thing that the group was not going to endure was a 2nd guided tour in English and there ended our illusion of control. We reverted to follower mode. Order was restored.

The Vasa Museum was amazing and the city hall, where the Nobel Banquet takes place each year, super impressive. Pascal called it ‘The Chateau of the People’ contrary to the other chateaux that we toured, owned by the current King and Queen. I was relieved for them that they were out of the country...

The Swedish people were friendly and surprisingly upbeat for people living in such a dark place. They humored me and my attempts at Swedish and were often interested in where we were from (because who would visit in November if they were not from Alaska, Canada or The Antarctic). We will go back to eat more moose, see Skansen and Gripsholm Castle and to tour the Archipelago by boat and we will stay here...

at what must be one of the coolest hostels ever, http://www.europeanhostelguide.com/hostels/chapman_ship.php.

Stockholm photos

XXX Road trip

Wed, 3 Nov 2010 12:55:42 +0100

Lunch in Brussels and dinner in Amsterdam... our kinda road trip! We don’t have any nighttime photos of Amsterdam because what happens at night in Amsterdam stays in Amsterdam and its best not to have any incriminating evidence or blackmail photos. We learned quickly the difference between the coffee house and the café. The one thing they have in common is that neither’s primary business is selling coffee, although they do and we sampled some at both.

We didn’t get to the two art galleries we had on our list but our walk from the campground to the tram was an extensive outdoor gallery and we were able to catch the artists at work.

The xxx all over Amsterdam, we thought, was an expression of patriotism, a people embracing their open minded culture and celebrating what they do best until we saw xxx in the churches and realized we were clearly uninformed. This flag adopted by Amsterdam in 1975, has three St. Andrew’s crosses. The flag choosing committee either has a great sense of humor or just got really lucky. Possession of soft drugs was decriminalized in 1976 and prostitution made legal in 2000, so is the flag reflecting the culture or did the culture grow to reflect the flag?

While on the subject... condom machines on the streets in France are convenient and the condom mobiles at the fairs are fun and this display window should win an award - note the eiffel tower and statue of liberty models, but condoms in a vending machine in between gum and skittles is perfect - unless you hit the wrong button.

One of the more odd things we saw, which is saying something, was near the Netherlands-Belgium border and was the photo-op missed, Big Funnel Man - http://www.ateliervanlieshout.com/works/bigfunnelman.htm.

We brought back lots of beer and other things you can’t get easily here, like... Belgian chocolate.

There is more to see. We’ll return to Amsterdam in April for the tulip festival and we’ll make a beer run to Belgium in a few months.

click here for
Brussels and Bruges photos

click here for
Amsterdam photos

It is Mind Scrabbling

Thu, 21 Oct 2010 11:27:25 +0200

When I saw Dora the Explorer Scrabble I did a virtual pirouette! It would be perfect for my two 8 year old English students, but then I saw that it was €41... In shock, I dropped it. Then, Uno, €21 and Monopoly €52... seriously.

I can fly to Scotland for €12 (Ryanair) and stay in a hostel for €13 and return with my Dora Scrabble and Uno, combined cost €15. That is €40 total for the games plus the trip vs the €62 it would cost me to walk less than a quarter mile and buy it.

More practical but less fun... I could order it from a US site and have it sent to my dad, then he could ship it to us for $52 total or €37. He could charge a $30 handling and inconvenience fee and it would still save me €1 and a 5min walk. He could throw in some dental floss that doesn’t break every time I use it - priceless!

Last year, we brought three pair of Levi’s back for a friend because together they were the price of what one pair would cost her here. Every year we load up on gear in the US, often 65% less than the exact same item if purchased here. Apparently, we are fortunate to have a concrete courtyard and were not aware of the weed wacker gear issues we would face if we had a yard...

‘I am an expatriate frenchman living in California. I have kept the family house in France. I would like someone to investigate why gardening tools like weed wackers and landmowers are so expensive in France. Check the Ryobi brand (4 cycle engine) for weedwackers cost more than twice when purchased in french. I eventually bought one in the US $150 and had it shipped to France. It seems to me that the middlemen in france and or the hyper markets are complice with the politiciens to keep competition out and prices high. I have been maintaining this family house in France for over 15 years and I have never understood why these things are so expensive in France.’ (from a comment on this article- http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6683I120100709)

Why do the French folks put up with such ridiculously high prices. The exact question was found where all burning questions are answered, Yahoo Answers. ‘Why is France so expensive and why do natives put up with it?’

The best answer chosen, ‘Because the prices are high, when our currency was switched to Euros many not very honest people just changed the currency on the small priced items. That means that the price was multiplied by up to seven. Since then we kept our high prices.’

Although I don’t exactly understand that answer it explains why the Dora Scrabble box was so faded. It must have been around since the French Franc, ~2002.

More research led to the "Old Franc Conversion Theory" and the "Golden Ticket Mentality", but these theories create more questions than answers.

The following, however, was validating and we may follow suit to lower our grocery bill: ‘An increasing number of British expats living in France are buying everyday essentials like food shopping in the UK and having it delivered because it is cheaper.’ Then this from the same article, ‘One expat said that his car recently needed a new clutch, which was going to cost €300 from a local garage but he found one on Ebay for £38 plus £10 delivery,~€48’, http://www.expatforum.com/france/british-expats-buying-everyday-essentials-from-the-uk-as-french-prices-are-too-high.html.

Why are ‘we’ striking over a 2 year increase in the retirement age and not this??? This is a strike I would join, if I were employed...

Guest Survey

Tue, 19 Oct 2010 17:05:56 +0200

Twenty-five visitors to date and each have stayed from one to five weeks. We have had 6 persons at once - a built in party. We have only had one guest return, but we’re not taking that personally.

Shopping for guests has evolved and now we send a questionnaire in advance. ‘How adventurous do you want to be?’ The meat category is the most fun (unless you are a vegetarian). You can choose from beef tongue and/or heart and kidneys are doable.

We draw the line at cerveaux but if someone were to request it, we could accommodate fairly easily. ‘Roll the dice’ is also an option that no one has yet selected.

While meat is the most fun, cheese is the most important. The extreme responses on the survey are, ‘Velveeta’ and ‘Mold excites me’. There are literally over 1000 cheeses here and we are determined to try each one. It is an addiction and guests are enablers.

Wine preferences are included in the survey but it is actually more important that the wine marry the meal.

Snails! We (I) love snails and guests provide the perfect excuse to have them, even if, to quote Richard Dawson, ‘Survey says, X’.

Vegetables - We eat a lot and the variety of mushrooms in particular excites us and can be a bit off-putting for those who know how mushrooms are cultivated, so it’s in the survey...

I have an onion/garlic problem - if they are in the house they must be a part of the meal. Guests can opt out and they will be removed from the guest list, I mean, the grocery list.

We are easygoing and have only one rule:

1. No dieting while visiting. Croissants and baguettes are an integral part of meals and dessert is mandatory!

I offer three warnings to the girls:

1. Men in the ladies room are common for any number of reasons, all oddly legitimate.
2. BYOtp
3. It is not uncommon to see a guy peeing.
It could be that the urinal is just outside the girl’s toilette.
It could be that he has stopped on the side of the road.
It could be that you just rounded the corner and saw a neighbor zipping up (forever burned into my memory).
In reality, I have seen more penises in the last three years than I have seen in my entire life. in all fairness, I was a true Catholic school girl for most of my youth, but still!

Birmingham

Sun, 10 Oct 2010 13:57:03 +0200

Top 5 quotes while in Birmingham, UK

“How the hell do you expect to study anything here if you cant speak English any better than that?” - Passport control agent to a Pakistani guy.

“I'm not a baggage handler. I’m the Chief Immigrations Officer” - Chief Immigrations officer to Joe and I (he did, however, quite illegally, bring me my bag)

“If you don't stop taking the piss out of me I will put you back on a plane to where you came from.” - Same Chief Immigrations Officer to the guy behind us.

We arrived behind a plane from Pakistan and a plane from India during a ‘terrorist attack likely’ threat level and were in the passport control line for an hour. Our carry-ons had been taken from us at the plane entryway and were put on the belt. There was 1 translator and 1M people in line.

The terror threat level was increased all over Europe, in part by an expected response to the the French burka banning bill, a complicated process and very controversial. Where is school house rock when you need it? The US Embassy warned us that Americans would be targeted.

Quote #4, “You’re not from around here are you?” said to Joe and I by the taxi driver who said he was from Pakistan. Then, he asked us if there many Muslims in the US. I panicked and said, “Yes, lots, some of our best friends are Muslim.”

And finally, at the hotel I asked for a map of the area (there is always a map). The person at the desk said, “I don’t have a map because I live here and I don’t need one. Just tell me where you want to go and I will tell you how to get there.”

We love England for many reasons. The top five:

1. The Indian food is amazing. Joe’s colleagues took us to an Indian, Indian restaurant as opposed to an English, Indian restaurant.

The difference is the number of Pepto tablets you need to take the next morning.

2. We can buy Pepto tablets

1. The pubs are busy at 10 am and pints are the beverage of choice

1. Mixed drinks in a can

5. I love being called ‘love’.

At the airport in Birmingham... We have several rules for choosing a security line at the airport and the number one is not to get behind travelers with children. Due to a grave strategic error we were behind a family with three young ones that should have been filmed for a ‘what not to do if you are late for your flight’ instructional film. They had 3 bottles of water and some other unidentifiable liquid in a container greater than 100ml, all had jackets and getting them off was mom’s job because dad was on the other side and free of the spectacle. Mom had jewelry and took some off. Then more. Then more - the bangles were stubborn. The little boy squeezed between the baggage detector and the person detector and was sent back. The older of the two girls went through properly but was sent back because she had a bag of chips. All four were finally ready and all four try to squeeze through together. This was so worth the price of admission that we may have to arrive early from now on just to queue up behind kids.

Finally, at the airport in France... a young American couple were on their way home. He says, “Where are the toilettes?” She says (with a super annoying tone), “Why do you call them that?” It was all I could do to not say, “Because, that is what they are called! Seriously, you could not have spent a day here without learning that, so deal with it.”

Football American style

Mon, 27 Sep 2010 08:52:29 +0200

Beef-heart burgers, wine and cheese were the fare for our first football game of the season. A last minute decision to get the game on Sunday, when everything was closed, meant no beer, chips or dip.

US commercials were played for the first time, a new feature and we were excited.... until we watched a few. Football seems to get more aggressive each season. After reading "Romo My Life on the Edge: Living Dreams and Slaying Dragons" by Romanowski, we just assume that most players are hyped up on some form of crazy making drug but is it necessary to rip someone’s helmet off? Rugby at its core is equally aggressive but the players don’t try to kill each other. All this wine and cheese must be making us soft.

At lunch with Dedene and Laura a few weeks ago, Dedene offered to go get a football for Laura’s two boys. When she returned with a soccer ball I said, “Oh, a ‘football’! I thought you were going to get a football” which really would have been odd. Laura said the boys wouldn’t know what to do with an American football and would find it silly because it wouldn’t roll properly... There’s a metaphor in there somewhere!

Keep that thumb pointed Up

Wed, 9 Jun 2010 14:30:21 +0200

We almost missed the last bus back to Liberec after hiking in the Jizera Mountains. Hitchhiking is common here but care must be taken... a thumb pointed down indicates that you are offering a service rather than in need of one. Fortunately, we made the bus.

This sign is what made us late... We stayed for too long before we realized it was pointless.

And then when we found the answer to the ultimate question... we had to see if the question was nearby.

LIberec is on the border of Germany and Poland and several languages are spoken here, but English is not one of them. German is not much appreciated due to the Germans who visit and don’t bother to learn Czech. Conversations generally all started like this...
‘Dobry den’, ‘Dobry den’, ‘English?’, ‘No, Deutsch?’, ‘A little... French?’, ‘No, Russian?’, ‘No, English?’, ‘A little’. Communicating without a common language is a familiar game that we played in China and Korea. Winning requires only that you stay calm. The real competition came and was lost in Babylon, http://www.centrumbabylon.cz/en/babylon/. This is not our kind of hotel. We prefer to play outside. Its one redeeming quality was that it had a huge outdoor terrace with a great view, according to the website.

After two days of being misunderstood and misdirected (it is a big place), I found it myself but the door was locked.

Then we played, I’ll show you my terrace if you show me yours which took us on a three hour tour.

When he realized that I had found ‘the terrace’ he said, ‘Oh, that terrace, blah, blah, blah verboten...’

We accept that when we travel what is written is relative and verbal communication is a sport, but this just pissed me off. I said, ‘This is not ok, blah, blah, blah...’, knowing that he didn’t understand a word and he replied, ‘You’re welcome.’ I need to work on my angry tone.

In retrospect, we should have expected confusion in a place called Babylon, especially after dinner our first night... in the Czech Republic, at Hotel Babylon, eating an Asian meal in a French restaurant while listening to Jimi Hendrix and looking at ancient Egypt decor.

It is possible to go up in the tower of the Town Hall, but at the information desk the attendant without saying a word, handed me her phone. The person on the other end said that I needed to go to the office of tourism and from there I could be announced and would be able to go up into the tower. At the office of tourism I was told it is not possible to go up except on this day and that and at this hour or that and none of those include today.

Two for two, expectations were low and when I came across this place I decided I was going inside even if I had to sneak in. Fortunately, it was a museum. After buying my ticket a woman inside wanted to play the language game. I indicated all was ok and I would just be on my way to look around. She grabbed my arm and pulled me around in circles while she pointed in this direction and that using charades to explain what exhibits were where. She reminded me of the restroom attendant in Shanghai who didn’t speak English, so after paying she grabbed me and threw me into a stall.

We met Gladys and Duchon on the trail from Jested. She is American and has lived in Liberec for 15 years. Duchon is Czech and has lived in France and the US.

They talked us into extending our hike and going with them to a family owned pub, U Samalu, that had been preserved for hundreds of years. It is always great to see and learn about a place from locals. It is also always enlightening to hear from a foreigner about their experience in the US. We are often shocked and somewhat ashamed about what we hear and are always grateful that people are so welcoming to us.

Next, Joe’s bunker trauma - locked in for an hour. They had already drawn straws to determine who would get eaten first...

Click here for more photos

What really goes on in the funhouse

Sat, 29 May 2010 15:37:52 +0200

We came back early from Ardeche to go to the Asparagus Festival in Tigy. There was an asparagus shortage and it was all gone in the first 15 minutes of the first day. Quelle crise! Fortunately, there was no shortage of crazy entertainment and amusement for all ages...

Like the funhouse, for the whole family, de 4 à`84 ans, from 4 to 84 years...

We should have gone in to see what really goes on in a French funhouse... maybe next time, but I suspect what goes on in the funhouse will stay in the funhouse.

We expected to see the Condom Mobil that was at the Stuttgart Festival but were disappointed when it wasn’t there.

There was lots of old stuff to buy

...really old stuff,

but this was our favorite... the Hot Dogger - De vrais hot-dogs, juste comme il faut.

The US was well represented...

And finally, the Asparagus Legos Competition... it was the reason we came but there was no Asparagus Eiffel Tower and so we felt cheated. There is always next year...

Les Trois Vallees

Sun, 21 Mar 2010 12:20:04 +0100

During last year’s boarder wars we came across several rude and prejudiced skiers. Now on skis it is clear that snowboarders can be equally obnoxious. Who knew? Battles on the slopes are insignificant. The real war is at the télécabine midway point...

At the midway point, the télécabines are fairly full from skiers getting on at the bottom. Several of these bottom dwellers had blatant strategies to keep us out - avoid eye contact, spread out or the more creative - stand and lean over so that the entrance is completely blocked by an ass. Then there were those who invited us in to sit on their laps. It was all worth the trouble. The Franglais conversations on the way up were priceless.

We met Allison and Paul from England, kindred spirits...
We have done the same stuff - scuba, sailing, climbing, windsurfing, snowboarding, etc. but they have done these in the coolest places and much more often. Paul had one of the first snowboards in Europe - 20 years ago - and taught himself to snowboard. Allison has been snowboarding for 12 years! Their RV is in the background. Paul claimed that he was taking that bottle of wine to the recycle bin...

Each year the fun on the slopes outweighs the pain on the autoroutes but it is time to share the ugly side of the French highway system. The road conditions are excellent due to the tolls. The tolls are tolerable, especially since we got our super cool pass that gets us into the speedy lane. Getting fuel however, is an absolute goat rodeo. Always, there is only one pay at the pump, pump. The remaining pumps filter to one drive up cashier and you can not start pumping until the person who was in front of you has paid. So you sit and wait and then pump and then jockey into line to pay. Sometimes there is a walk up cashier and 10 people waiting in line to pay, all with same strategy: When there is a two person team one person pumps fuel and the other gets in line. In theory, a good strategy but it breaks down when the next 5 teams in line have failed to complete pumping. This should result in immediate ‘back of the line’ status. Also, if strategy is required to pump and pay for gas than somebody should be fired. How much can pay at the pump pumps cost?

There was a friendly French family to our right and a grumpy German couple to our left; seriously grumpy and they will be the topic of another entry...

Quotes of the week at home: A butcher in Jargeau, ‘You Americans eat only chicken right? Fried chicken?’ and then the guy from whom I learned that bisous are not innocent, ‘Hi! I’m still single.’ Me, ‘I’m still married.” Him, ‘Never mind.”

Original entry - http://www.lifebitesphotos.com/An_Adventure_Abroad/Blog/Entries/2009/2/12_Fun_and_Games.html

Par hasard, Joe met him for the first time Saturday. They are not going to be BFF’s.

La Police Municiple

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 18:35:07 +0100

Châteauneuf’s finest set up a checkpoint at the end of the Grande Rue and trapped Dedene and I in their web... Barney and the tall one approached and the tall one asked for my registration and driver’s license. When he opened the license he started laughing. I asked him what was funny and he said, ‘I know you’. Of course he does. We are the closest thing they have to criminals in Châteauneuf. I had not signed my drivers license and Barney lent me his pen, then asked for it back like I was going to steal it. He had an ‘I know who you are and what you are capable of’ smirk. It flashed through my mind that his smirk may have been because he saw me dripping wet and practically naked not so long ago (http://www.lifebitesphotos.com/An_Adventure_Abroad/Blog/Entries/2009/8/14_Round_Two.html), but then he said, ‘Your car moves often now’. I replied, ‘Yes, she moves a lot’ (cars are girls here). The tall one handed me my ‘papers’ and said in English, ‘It is good’. They really are sweet and harmless and it is nice to be known for something in Châteauneuf....